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Thursday, August 24, 2006
Hello, dear old blog. How have you been these days?

You know, I don't know who or what I'm doing all these for. Sure, I want the money that comes along with the high-paying jobs. But besides the cash, what other purposes do I have. To say that I have no clear goal in sight's not too far away from the truth.

The people in my life are leaving one by one. Yeah, I've been there, experienced that. But it still hurts. Out of the 205 people on my MSN list, how many can I say I can safely place my trust in them? But really, what hurt more was how you're never around anymore. I guess who I was had already faded away in your mind, a bad dream that you shrugged away. Everytime I dragged myself to school, first thing that my eyes catch sight of is your initials I had wrote on the table. First thing that I recalled was your name when I blog in my public blog. First person to come to mind whenever I step into PS. I want to get over you, and all the more so when I visit your blog and see how your life's been so much better off without me. But emotions got the better of me still, I guess. I don't dare to talk to you now, the relationship we share now's like a piece of ancient scroll, a magical scroll that contained memories, but due to the passing of time, a single touch would cause it to crumble into pieces.

I said I wished we could relive the past. You said you'd rather it not. That hurt me so much I could just die right there and then.

Does the past matter so little to you? Do I matter that little?

Life's getting worse by the days. The closest people are getting more distant, the rest are hardly in sight. I wished I could leave for another place and start all over again. Cause the space you left in my life somehow made everything seem so grey, too hard to carry on.

Fuck. Why am I always the one clinging on.

9:25 AM

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